Third time's the charm!

Alhamdullah!  Alden has a Syrian visa!  He went to the embassy yesterday and it was entirely empty.  It was 3 pm and even the parking lot was empty, save an old Caddy that had seen better days.  Weird.

This morning, Alden happened to be driving near the embassy, so he stopped by.  It was 8:45 when he walked up to the consulate entrance.  As he walked up, the staffer that he had interacted with before, got out of a parked car.  Was he sleeping in the car?  Perhaps.  Alden doesn't judge.  

"Why are you so early?!?"  

Alden explains that he happened to be in the neighborhood...

The staffer took Alden's raffle ticket and went inside- instructing Alden to remain on the street.  The embassy staffer clearly isn't a morning person...  A few moments later Alden got his passport, with a dual entry visa. 

So now Alden wonders which of Syria's neighbors should he visit?  He is flying in and out of Jordan- so that leaves Lebanon, Turkey, Iraq, because he can't get back if he gets an Israeli stamp...  Alden is open to suggestions.  Perhaps catch a cheap flight to Sharjah on Air Arabia?

Inshallah #1

Alden strolled up to the Syrian embassy this afternoon; he arrives at three o'clock sharp.  It is exactly 16 minutes away from his apartment on foot.  Dutifully producing his raffle ticket to claim his passport (and hopefully visa!), Alden was asked, "When were you told to pick up your passport?"  

Alden relies, "Today, after three o'clock." 

Alden recognizes the embassy staffer; it was the same one who had taken his application, passport, and blank money order last week.  The staffer glances at the clock, and notes how very exactly on time Alden has arrived.  He then retreats towards a phone and makes a hushed phone call in Arabic, mostly out of earshot.  Alden is really proud of himself when he recognizes his raffle ticket number being read in Arabic, especially since numbers aren't exactly his strong point.  

(Side note:  Alden needs to get better with numbers before attempting to bargain for a custom made dishdasha in Syria.  Oh yeah- Alden is totally getting a dishdasha!)

(Side note #2:  Alden has been wondering, is the expression, "Going native," offensive?  Because this is Alden's plan, but perhaps he ought not to use such colonial-era terminology?  Anyways, he is three weeks into a beard, and it is looking GOOD.)

Back to the story: the staffer returns to the window and informs Alden that his passport "ought to be ready tomorrow, Inshallah!"  

Literal translation: Your passport will be ready tomorrow, IF ALLAH WILLS IT!

Possible translation #1: We didn't get around to it... too busy enjoying Memorial Day BBQs! (Can't blame them- it was beautiful this weekend!)

Possible translation #2: We need a little more time to steal your identity to fund our proxy wars.  

Should Alden be worried?  We really hope it is option number one.  And it probably is...

Alden asked if he should return tomorrow morning or afternoon.  He was told, in a rather confused tone, as if there was any choice: "definitely afternoon."

This is the first of the probably MANY Inshallahs that Alden will hear this summer.  Alden needs to get used to the fact that many parts of the world do not operate on Alden's "Gringo Time."  So, Alden will try to get his passport again tomorrow, inshallah!

Visa or raffle ticket?!?

It was a wonderful Friday morning and Alden thought he ought to get his act together and work on obtaining a Syrian visa.  

Armed with his passport, two passport-sized photos, and a money order for $131, Alden walked up to the Syrian Embassy, just north of Dupont Circle.  First a money order was obtained- the Syrian Embassy will not accept any other form of payment.  $131 seems like an odd price, but whatever.

Alden dutifully filled out the visa application and turned it over with the photos, the money order, and his passport.  Was it odd to hand over one's passport to an embassy of a country that is often referred to in the same breath as the 'axis of evil?'  No, not really.  The staff was professional and nothing was odd... until... Alden was told to claim his passport "Tuesday, after 3 pm," and he was handed a county fair style raffle ticket!  Just like one of these:

Yeah, ok, that was a little odd.  As a friend pointed out last night, perhaps the visa only costs $130, but the extra dollar in the $131 cost might earn Alden a DVD player or a giant stuffed bear from the raffle Alden just entered?  A raffle ticket?  Seriously?!?

Alden politely requested a multiple-entry visa, to which he was told the best he would get is a dual-entry visa.  Alden politely said "thank you," to which was replied, "No!  Thank you!"

What are the odds that Alden just got his identity stolen?  Also, the money order was blank- and the staffer said he would fill it out himself.  Yeah...  When Alden gets arrested and thrown in a 6 by 6 cell down in Gitmo for terrorist financing, this is why.  But on the bright side, Alden could still practice his Arabic at Gitmo- which is why he wants to go to Syria in the first place!

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And as the loyal readers might have picked up, Alden Pyle will be speaking in the third person, mostly, as he writes for Whiskey Tango Farley.  The committee voted, and Alden agrees.

And the preparations start.

In exactly fifty days, give or take, (so why did you even bother with saying exactly?), I will fly to Amman, Jordan.  The Goal: spend two months learning Arabic.  All of July and August- and I am going to head up to Syria for a good chuck of time as well.  It is going to be HOT.  And I recently learned it isn't socially acceptable to wear shorts.  Yikes.

So, how much prep have you done? um, not much.  But I have a round-trip plane ticket (thanks Mr. Rockefeller!) and a couple of Lonely Planet guides. And Team Awesome is lending me her Jordanian phone- just need to buy some minutes and it is good to go! 

So yes indeed, this is the inaugural post for Whiskey Tango Farley.  ("Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" was already taken. Dang.)  Whiskey Tango Farley will describe Alden Pyle's trip through Jordan and Syria. Who is Alden?  A graduate student in International Relations at The Best school for advanced international studies east of the Mississippi.  

Alden is a tall gringo, and will stick out because he cannot tan at all.  (He burns.)  This site will describe for the benefit of all the internets the hilarity of Alden's voyage to the Middle East, probably with some political commentary (and bad grammar- too many commas and always with the passive voice) which will haunt him when he runs for president.    

It is still being debating if this blog will speak in the first or third person.  In Alden Pyle's youth the funniest, scariest, and most memorable moments at the dinner table often involved people speaking in the third person- so indeed, the committee is leaning towards the third person.  This matter will be settled by the next post.