Sarah L. H. Palin will you please go now!

Sarah L. H. Palin will you please go now!
The time has come.
The time has come.
The time is now.
Just go. Go. Go! I don't care where.
You can go by moose. You can go by bear.
Sarah L. H. Palin, you could fly through O'Hare!
You can go on a snowmobile. You can go on skis.
You can wear your lipstick. But please go. Please!
I don't care. You can go by bike.
You can go
on a giant elephant
if you like.
If you like you can go in an old red shoe.
Just go, go, GO! Please do, do, DO!
Sarah L. H. Palin
I don't care how.
Sarah L. H. Palin will you please 
GO NOW!
You can go by Prius. You can go with Phish.
You can fly across a Bridge to Nowhere, if you wish.
You are scaring all the states that are blues.
Every time you're on CBS Evening News.
Sarah L. H. Palin don't you know
The time has come
to go, go, GO!
Get on your way, please, Sarah P.!
You very much annoy the freakin' heck out of me.
You can take the Straight Talk Express.
Please leave this awful election year mess,
To be just only an historical footnote,
Rather than a Democratic get-out-the-vote!
I don't care how you go. Just git!
Sarah L. H. Palin! I don't care how.
Sarah L. H. Palin
will you please GO NOW!
I said
GO
and go I meant . . .
The time had come
 so . . . so Sarah went?

(With apologies to Dr. Seuss & Art Buchwald)

Sorry posting has been light the past, um, month... Between a very healthy course load and drinking wine with a straw, Alden's been a touch busy.  We'll try and ramp it up again here at Whiskey Tango Farley...

XTHXBYE

Heading home!

Ok folks, Alden is heading home today! Well, technically tomorrow, but at 1:45 am, so that feels like it is part of today, right?

So what's this guy been up to? Alden's been relaxing on the Dead Sea, then he got to Jerash- Some Roman ruins north of Amman. It is always crazy seeing Roman ruins in the Middle East...

Then two full days of shopping with his mother. This involved going to lots and lots and lots of handicraft shops- environmentally friendly & sustainable development eco-tourism co-op's for female empowerment. They had all sorts of handicrafts and entirely unreasonable prices. Wow. It was very crunchy and Vegan and such.

But Alden didn't complain much; there is duty-free liqour as his reward.

This need's to be short- Alden's hungry- but here's one of the best things he's seen thus far: A taxi with a customized shifter- this thing had a little button on the top, much like a fighter plane, that HONKED THE HORN. Yes, just in case you are shifting gears and cannot wait a second longer, it was possible to honk the horn via the shifter. Amazing.

Alright, pray to St. Christopher- Alden's off to the airport!

(More to come once back in the US...!)

Alden vs. Petra

Woah! Where has Alden been? Sorry y'all, but Alden's been busy! Here's what's happened:

Alden left Tartus for Hama. Hama has cute ancient water wheel things that were part of an old school irrigation system. Some are still functional and make groaning sounds. Alden saw all of them in about an hour, then slept for the afternoon.

Next day, Alden gets back to Damascus for his last night in Syria. Dinner at Arabesque: steak & wine. Some last moment shopping got done as well. (Alden's father should get excited.)

Then taxi to Amman, Jordan. The taxi ride was taxing. The driver went back on his pledge to use the AC, and even though Alden rode shot-gun, it was a throughly miserable drive. The highlight was Alden purchasing a large bottle of his favorite Irish cream liqour at the Duty-Free area. Also, the taxi driver, like most taxi drivers, is involved in smuggling large amounts of duty-free cigarettes. Alden was less than thrilled to hide contraband cigarettes on his person as demanded by the driver while the car got inspected.

In Amman, Alden expected to meet his mother, who was joining him in Jordan for his last two weeks of his SUMMER 2008 MID-EAST ADVENTURE. She has lots of frequent flyer miles; thus they are staying at the Grand Hyatt Amman. Really roughing it...

Alden's mother was late, but arrived nonetheless. Day one with mother: See Amman. Citadel, Roman amphitheater, the Balad, etc. Back to the Hyatt for the afternoon ('cause it was too hot for anything other than a dip in the pool). Then dinner with Brian "Da Ampersand" Katz. Delightful.

Now for adventure: Renting a car should not be difficut, given there was a Hertz Rent-a-car in the Hyatt's lobby.

Alden: "Hello, I would like to rent a small car for tomorrow."
Hertz girl: "Oh, I'm sorry, no small cars for tomorrow."
Alden: "Ok, medium or large perhaps?"
Hertz girl: "Sorry, no medium or large."
Alden: "Ok, any cars at all?"
Hertz girl: "Nope, no cars at all for the next two weeks."
Alden: (Confused, blank stare)

One phone call to the first random car agency listed in his slightly less out-of-date Jordanian Lonely Planet, and Alden's got wheels for the next day!

Alden and mother take off down the dramatic King's Highway for Wadi Musa (town next to Petra), but not before seeing the Crusader castle at Karak. Alden LOVES castles, remember? It was a bit hot, but Karak was great. Fairly intact. Good job, Crusaders.

Lunch, then hit the road again. Arriving in Wadi Musa too late to get into Petra, Alden and mother head "off the beaten path" to find "Little Petra." Arriving shortly before sunset, a little Bedouin man grabs Alden to show him a good place to see the sunset. A sprint through a valley and a scramble up a cliff later, and indeed, Alden is at the best sunset he has seen this summer. He finds his patiently waiting mother and they find some dinner in town. (Cleopatra's all you can eat buffet- great deal.)

Alden vs. Petra - Round one:

Arriving sharp at 6:30 (when the ticket office opens), Alden and mother saw just about everything. Round one: Alden. Amazing pictures were taken, extremely difficult hikes were accomplished- Up to the Monestary (850 steps according to a tacky t-shirt) and up to the aptly named "High Place of Sacrifice" via the long route. It was hot, but Alden and mother beat the crowds all day long by keeping a pretty good pace. Alden also bought foodstuffs to bring for lunch, thus avoiding the awful restaurants. Actually, they looked ok, but they were filled with tourists. Alden doesn't really like that crowd...

Side note: Wadi Musa rings with gun shots, honking, and fireworks all night long. Weddings on Tuesdays and Wednesdays? Seriously people?

Side note: Winning the "Unexpected national majority of foreign tourists at Petra" today were the Spanish- and mostly Catalan at that. Mostly nice people, and it gave Petra an funky Iberian flavor.

Petra can't really be described with any justice given this author's state of true exhaustion right now, but after 12 hours of site-seeing, Alden is VERY impressed with the Nabateans that made the place. Good job, Nabateans! You guys even installed an plumbing system to control the blood flow from the High Place of Sacrifice! And Alden just loved the column tops that had elephants! Seriously, you done good work.

Tomorrow, Alden vs. Petra: Round two. More hiking, which means it is time for some Tylenol PM and earplugs to catch some sleep!

Aleppo Report

Alden didn't see too much of Aleppo when he had first arrived- it was nearly sunset, and he focused on finding a hotel and foodstuffs (and beers at The Baron). The next morning Alden seized the day and headed right into the famed Aleppo Souq. It was an assault on all five senses. The Damascus market is tamer than shopping in Bethesda, by way of comparison. There are several parallel narrow streets running east-west, and then lots of little streets running in every random direction. It was extremely medieval, foreign, and exhausting.

Mercifully, most of the souq is covered with arching masonry or corrugated iron. It was above 40 degrees Celsius (that's about 200,000 degrees Fahrenheit, aka "Freedom Degrees"), so the covered aspect of the souq is well appreciated. Alden didn't buy much at the souq; it is mostly household goods. Since Wallmart hasn't made its way to Syria, this is where everyone buys everything. His favorite item (which he did not buy, and now regrets) was a gorgeous leather carrying case for an AK 47, with two side pockets shaped perfectly to hold your spare banana clips. It could have made a great briefcase.

Near the souq is the Aleppo citadel. You would think that Alden is getting sick of castles, but Alden's inner child will NEVER be sick of castles. The Aleppo citadel is on a very commanding hill that overlooks the whole of the city. It has a huge moat, and there is only one narrow bridge to approach the entrance. The doorway is to the right, at a 90 degree angle, once you cross the bridge; this would have prevented the use of a battering ram. Very clever.

After the citadel Alden attempted to find the famed Aleppo soap factory. He was being silly and attempting to use a map. What a goof. Finally he started asking people; this works much better. The soap factory was closed, but across the street is a perfectly intact hospital/insane asylum from the middle ages, the "Bimaristan Arghan." Wow, Alden is glad he wasn't sick or an insane person in the middle ages. The patient rooms have very tall 20 foot ceilings, but they have a 4x4 foot floor plan. Overall, gorgeous architecture, and a nice reminder how far modern medical treatment has come. (But don't get Alden started about the faults involved in fMRI or the silliness of the DSM-IV.)

Dinner was acquired again at the hole in the wall place; chicken and rice, etc. Alden splurged and got humus as well; total of $4, including a Miranda soda ("ma fitamin C!").

The next morning: Alden hires a car to drive him out to Qa'ala Simeon. This is a giant Byzantine structure devoted to Saint Simeon, who was something of a huge celebrity in the 5th century. He was a very pious individual- so pious that he lived on a giant pillar, some 18 meters tall. He prevented himself from falling at night by chaining his neck to the pillar. This guy attracted pilgrims to visit him from all over Christiandom. And it got Alden to hire a cabby from Aleppo. After seeing what is left of Simeon's pillar (not much is left due to pillar-chipping pilgrims) and admiring the basillica remains, Alden toured a few of the nearby "Dead Cities" and got inside of a Roman general's tomb. He was Indiana Jones-ing pretty much all morning. The Dead Cities are pretty odd places- they are exactly what they are named. But Alden nearly died with fright when he entered an old church that had a cow in it. Not missing a beat, he screamed, "I win the Cow Game!" The cab driver was confused.

Then, and this was a blast, Alden got to drive the taxi around for a bit through the Aleppo countryside. Built in Iran, the 1.1 liter "Saba" has no airbags, seatbelts, or power anything. But dang, if it wasn't fun to drive. The little 1.1 liter engine doesn't have too much trouble pushing the car around, since it is quite light, probably made out of balsa wood and cardboard. Once he was back in Aleppo, Alden was ready to get gone, so he got the first bus leaving the station.

Important lesson learned: Make sure the bus goes directly to Damascus, otherwise you make stops in Homs and Homa, making the trip hours longer than necessary.

Alden had the front-row seat in the bus, and 30 minutes after leaving Aleppo, the bus smashed into a small blue Datsun pickup truck that swerved infront of the bus to (perhaps) dodge an oncoming motorcycle that was driving in the breakdown lane. The pickup wasn't too messed up, but Alden, like all the adult males, got out to inspect the damage. Loud arguements about the fault of the accident went on for a while between the bus, truck, and motorcycle drivers, and all the adult male passengers. Finally the bus got underway again. Alden, now very exhausted, got a "Zinger" sandwich from Winner's (fried chicken, cheese, and salami), and a bottle of wine, which he drank with a straw (in homage to Mr. Tyler).